Since converting to Islam, I've been asked if I plan on changing my name. I might add to or change my middle name, but my first name is off limits. For when I look at my life and where it has taken me, "Danielle" seems more appropriate than ever. I think of the day my parents chose it for me. My father has told me that they picked it out six years before I was even born. In my mind I think of them as they were, sophomores in high school, and wonder if they could have known what significance their decision would have when I was twenty-nine years old. You see Danielle is the feminine form of Daniel. Daniel is Hebrew for:"God is my judge ". As my faith is tested and I strive to submit to Allah, I think of my name and what it means.
When people tell me I'm a fool and I've converted to an "oppressive violent religion that hates women", I remind myself that only Allah can judge me...
When people around remind of the things I used to do in my state of jahiliya and mock me for submitting to Allah now, I remind myself that only Allah can judge me...
When people tell me I will fail in my faith, that it's "just a fad" and I'll leave Islam in a year or two, I remind myself that only Allah can judge me...
When people suggest that I be lackadaisical in my deen and I'm wrong for focusing on it, I remind myself that only Allah can judge me...
When people tell me to put aside the commands of the Quran to gain temporary comfort, I remind myself that only Allah can judge me...
My time on this earth is short. Eternity, on the other hand, has no end. After death an account must be given and when the Day comes ALLAH-not the mockers, the naysayers or the haters- will judge me. It is this fact that I will not lose sight of.
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Masha'Allah, I have always loved the names Daniel and Danielle for their beautiful meaning, that ALLAH truly is our only Judge. Don't ever feel that you have to change it, even if others insist that you must. My name is Anne (a diminuitive of Chana, which means "grace" in Hebrew), and it will always be Anne.
ReplyDeleteAs rewarding as conversion is, it can also be very challenging, as you already seemed to have experienced. However, like you said, if we just remember to live our lives the way ALLAH wants us to we will not fail, and ALLAH will watch over us and (Insha'Allah) reward us in the end. If you ever need any help/support, I'm here for you, and I mean it. My email address is thisisnotclever@gmail.com if you ever want to talk.
Assalaamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu!